~CHRISTMAS at MOM'S HOUSE~

~CHRISTMAS at MOM'S HOUSE~

Have fun looking thru the photos and sorry they are kind of out of order. I am working hard on the website today so I can have all new treasures on late Sunday Evening.

Have a great day today, Love and Hugs, Amy

~Crazy Couple Days~

~IT'S BEEN A CRAZY COUPLE OF DAYS~

Well, my Microsoft Frontpage decided to die on me yesterday. That is the program I use for my website and host my e-bay auctions. The good news is, I got it working after 5 and a half hours of working on it today and I don't have to get a new computer or program. WHEW!!! I am soooo happy about that.

I will be getting ready for the Thanksgiving Holiday starting tomorrow and Wednesday, by cleaning the house (Mom's coming over to help) and I still need to shop for dinner. We have the turkey but need to get everything else.

~DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT TODAY~

I had my pre-op physical today and will find out about my blood work tomorrow. It took them 20 minutes to find a good vein because all of mine are collapsed from chemotherapy. They blew out one of my veins today, it hurts like hell, and finally found one to get some blood. I sure am glad that is over with!!! Just think 2 WEEKS from TONIGHT I will be all done with my 2nd phase of reconstructive breast surgery. They will be taking out the expander's and replacing them with saline implants and then building nipples. I have to wear nipple tents (THAT MAKES ME LAUGH EVERY TIME I SAY IT) for 3 weeks as not to tear or catch them on my clothing. The last phase of the reconstruction won't happen until LATE SPRING 2008. So, they weren't kidding when they said the whole process takes about a year.

~CHRISTMAS at THE HENRY'S~

The girls decorated the whole house for CHRISTMAS since I want to have that all done and all the presents bought before surgery. Then I can just relax until Christmas!!! I will get a picture of the tree, I just forgot to and will share that after Thanksgiving.

~FEELING BETTER and STRONGER EVERYDAY~

I feel better and stronger everyday and below are just a few photos of what will be coming to the website the weekend of Thanksgiving. YIPPY SKIPPY!!! GAME ON, as the girls would say. If you are interested in having me e-mail you as soon as everything is ready, please e-mail me so I can add you to our list.

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING and I am so THANKFUL for all of you, my family, friends and all of Our Troops!!! I will back to blogging after Thanksgiving.

GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!!!
Hugs, Amy

~Reconstruction Photos~

~BREAST CANCER RECONSTRUCTION PICTURES~

The pictures were taken last week on November 9th, 2007. (CLICK HERE TO SEE THEM and PLEASE REMEMBER to view them at your OWN RISK. THESE ARE ACTUAL PHOTOS) I forgot to take pictures of the fill I had in September but these photos are the latest and I am happy with the size. I have 540cc in each breast and they look so perfect that the doctor and I both agreed not to go any bigger as to mess up the evenness of them. He is VERY HAPPY (he even called in all the nurses to show them how AWESOME it has healed and looks and so am I.
On December 3rd I will have my 2nd phase of reconstructive surgery in which he will take out the expander's and replace them with saline solution implants. He will then shape them as needed and begin making nipples. This whole process will take about 2 and a half hours and I should be able to go home that evening. I have to have this done in the hospital because of all my complications with chemotherapy and he doesn't want to take any chances. (Even though he has his own operating area in his office) The coloring of the nipples will not happen until Spring of 2008. So this whole process takes almost a year. WOW!!! I think they look FABULOUS...WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN!!! AND THIS IS ONE SIDE EFFECT of CANCER I CAN HANDLE!!!
Love and Hugs to all of you,
Amy
(who's dreaming of a White Christmas)

~Love One Another and More Cancer Side Effects~

~LOVE ONE ANOTHER~

I know this is one of the best things to do, yet I am soul searching and reading in my Bible how to be better at this. (any good scripture you know of, please email to me, I so love those positive words!!!)

So, when does it come to a time where one is tired of being the doormat for others (see previous post) and it's REALLY REALLY HARD to love that other person??? I feel guilty for not following those words of "Love One Another" and it lays heavy on my heart. Such a struggle with this for me right now and you would think after all I have been through this would be something that would come so EASILY!!! It's so frustrating at times.

I found out that since I couldn't keep the kids for 5 days during Thanksgiving break so she could go out of state with the flavor of the month that she said, "She using the Cancer Card as an excuse not to take the kids." OUCH....THAT REALLY HURT because she has no idea how tired I get and how I am still trying to heal from all of this. What is really amazing is that she is a nurse at a hospital and I hope to God I never have her as my nurse. One would think there would be some compassion and love there....but I guess not.

I have to keep reminding myself, "GOD HASN'T FAILED ME YET and HE'S NOT GOING TO START NOW!!!"

ENOUGH OF THAT.....

Yesterday I had to go to the dentist and have ONE of MANY teeth pulled. Chemo has taken it's toll on them and the dentist decided to just pull one to see how well my body healed after taking it out. Since my blood cell count is still low, we need to see how I do. Also, he didn't want to pull them all because I need to be well for my 2nd phase of reconstructive surgery on the 3rd of December. So far, so good, it's very sore and I am taking penicillin for any infection that might come up but I am happy it is out of there and that tooth ache feeling is GONE!!!

It's getting cold here and the wind is blowing like crazy....the radio station has started playing 24/7 Christmas Music and it's a welcomed sound.

Have a great day today and I will try my hardest to keep my glass 1/2 FULL and Love One Another......Hugs, Amy

~SIDE EFFECTS of CANCER~

WARNING....THIS IS A BAD BAD NASTY POST....READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! HERE IS THE NASTY SIDE OF ME!!!!

SIDE EFFECTS NOT IN ANY SORT OF ORDER of IMPORTANCE

SIDE EFFECT #1

SIDE EFFECTS have hit me with the Tamoxifen and it hasn't been pretty.
I have had headaches, nausea, vomiting, dizziness (to the point I can hardly walk because I run into stuff) hot flashes every 20 minutes or so, soaking through my shirts like I am in a wet t-shirt contest....HA HA HA....never been in one but thought that might be what it is like, and it just SUCKS!!!!

SIDE EFFECT #2

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and even tho I was able to make it to my appointment with the plastic surgeon, I am not looking forward to surgery on the 3rd of December. I am weak and I am kind of depressed as my mind wants to do things and get back to working, but my body won't let me.

SIDE EFFECT #3

To be honest, I have unplugged the house phone from bill collectors calling.....YEP...HAVING CANCER CAN FINANCIALLY HURT EVEN when you have GREAT INSURANCE....and I just want to run away!!! I want to get back to the website and eBay so bad but my body won't let me. SO, Mr. Bill Collector, I have unplugged my phone and won't be plugging it back in until I can get back on my feet.

SIDE EFFECT #4

Sleeping habits are not there.....I feel like a cat with the cat naps and the insomnia. I think I can't sleep because I worry too much about the bills and I dream that I die in my sleep, I dream that we lose everything we have worked so hard for and so I don't want to go to sleep.

SIDE EFFECT #5

Ex-spouses from both my side and my hubby's side. Yelling, Screaming, feeling they are the VICTIM of THEIR LIFE'S troubles and it's all OUR FAULT!!! Feeling that in someway, I am responsible for their failures. GET A GRIP YOU TWO!!! START TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for YOURSELF and YOUR CHOICES!!! I DID NOT CHOOSE TO GET CANCER, I DID NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT AT ALL.

LIFE DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOUR PITIFUL SELF'S. And hey, just because YOU CHOSE to do the things you do shouldn't make it so we and YOUR CHILDREN suffer for your choices. I'm not the one who chose to quit or stay in my job, I am not the one who is behind on child support by THOUSANDS of DOLLARS and I am not the one who is making your life miserable. GROW UP AND BECOME A PARENT to your kids and BE RESPONSIBLE for them too!!! GET A DIFFERENT JOB, or keep the one you have, STOP DATING EVERYTHING THAT WALKS YOUR WAY (or through your computer screen), stop going out of town or state to be with that "flavor of the month" and PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CHILDREN. YOU NEED to FIX YOURSELF before you will be happy with anyone....Remember, to love yourself so others can love you too!!! (For example, today, as I am trying to get my immunities up for my surgery and dealing with getting better from this cancer, I sit here with your daughter who is throwing up and wondering WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU??? THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER!!!)
I wish for just ONE MONTH you could be in my shoes, dealing with cancer and see how good it feels to take care of the kids in that condition. GET OUT OF YOUR PITY POOL and DEAL WITH YOUR BAD SELF!!!

Side Effect #6

Well, hmmmm...I know there are more...but for today, this is enough.....

It could be worst, I know, and I will keep trying to find the glass half full but today it just didn't happen. I really am a good person, there is just so much ONE PERSON CAN TAKE. Please GOD...DON'T STRIKE ME DOWN.....

~WIPED OUT FROM IT ALL, Amy~

~Last Chemo Treatment Pictures~

~HERE IS EVERYONE WHO HELPED ME FIGHT MY CANCER AT DR. GHOSH'S IOWA BLOOD AND CANCER CARE~

Above is Holly, the one who did all my blood work

Above is Sarah the receptionist who checked me in and Becca who took my vitals

My Good Buddies Lanette, My ON CALL ONCOLOGY NURSE who will be there for me for as long as I need her and Mindy, Dr. Ghosh's Nurse Practitioner

~Above THE FAMOUS DR. GHOSH....WHO SAVED MY LIFE~

Lesta and Natalie, My Chemo Girls who hooked me up every time. WHAT A FUN BUNCH THEY ARE!!! I can't believe I am saying this but I am going to MISS THEM!!!

~THE BELL YOU GET TO RING WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED WITH CHEMO~

~AFTER RINGING THE BELL with BOB....CHEMO IS OVER!!!!~

I AM HUGE!!! Those Macy Day Thanksgiving Parade STEROIDS they gave me and the anti-nausea medication so I wouldn't throw up made me LOOK LIKE A MACY'S DAY PARADE BALLOON...I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT AT ALL!!!

Okay.....NOW WHAT???? Right now I am really at a loss....I have been so focused on fighting breast cancer and now that I am done with chemo I thought I could just go back to my old life....I am finding that is not the case. I am finding I am feeling better everyday but I tire out around noon and still need to sleep. I am finding I am a bit depressed and don't know why....THIS IS REALLY STARTING TO SUCK....

STILL HANGING IN THERE.....Amy

(PS...Becky, I wore my scarf to chemo but got a hot flash and soaked thru it so I had to switch scarves. Please forgive me as I so wanted to get a picture of me in it)

~I'm Here~

Just a quick update to let you know I am still here.....I am sleeping like crazy and my mouth is still giving me so much pain that I am on a constant dose of Tylenol with codeine. I pretty much sleep and do as little as possible to get by for the day. This chemo really threw me for a loop. With each day I get a bit stronger but I am not as good as I want to be. THE BEST THING IS: My MIND IS SHARP and wants to get all this stuff done but my body is saying NO WAY!!! So, such is life and I will just take one day at a time, even tho I am very frustrated that I am not getting better faster. Just my personality!!!

Thank you sooooo much for all your prayers and continued support. I am sure I will feel better in no time. PS...The picture above is from last year Christmas....my Shabby Vintage Trinket Jars with GLITTER!!!

Hugs and Love, Amy

~This post is about Amy... from Mary~

Dear blogger friends.. This is Mary from IsabellasCloset. I just got off the phone with Amy. She called to let me know how she's doing.. I had the feeling she was not doing well. Oh my gosh she sounded just awful! She could hardly talk. Her tongue is sore, red, and swollen. She says she's in so much pain right now. Her fingers are also very painful, she can not even type. She asked me to please post this message. She said give her a week or so and she'll be able to get back to posting on her blog again. She was thinking she would be feeling better by now since her chemo is over.. but it's not been the case. This is the worst Amy has sounded to me so far. My heart goes out to her. So please keep Amy in your thoughts and prayers. She's such a mess right now! What this sweet Gal has been through...God bless you all for caring about Amy as much as you do. Hugs & love to you from ~Mary~ IsabellasCloset (Amy's friend).

~WAAAAAA I WANNA FEEL BETTER~

~WAAAAAA I WANNA FEEL BETTER~

Just a quick note to let everyone know I am doing okay. I am still in the chemo fog and I am having another side effect of NUMBNESS in my fingertips and hands. Hard to type and answer emails so please give me a few more days.

Also, the pain in my hips is UNBELIEVABLE!!! I feel like I am being crushed by a vice with every step I take. That is the white blood cell/bone marrow suppression and hopefully that will go away in a week or so. I just need to be careful for my 10 thru 14th day after chemo so I don't get infection, so I am quarantined from public places and lots of people. THAT SUCKS....but it beats ending up in the hospital.

Other than that, I'm hanging in there.

Love and Hugs, Amy

~6th and Last Chemo is REALLY DOING ME IN~

~LAST CHEMO IS SUCKING......BIG TIME BUT I STILL HAVE MY HUMOR~

(the above chair reminds me of the chemo chair I sit in....only the one above is much prettier)

WELL....They warned me, the final last CHEMO TREATMENT #6 might catch up with me and boy is it ever. I have been puking since this morning and if I am not doing that, I am sleeping. THIS SUCKS....I honestly thought I would fly thru this one but it's from all the months of POISON going into my body and it's just finally catching up with me. I AM IN THE CHEMO FOG/with CHEMO BRAIN.

My veins are shredded in my left arm. That isn't a pleasant feeling and my left arm is sore from this last chemo. My head hurts (still got those migraines) but my mouth sores are at bay right now....I almost hate to write that in case they show up in a few days.

So, there I am, please know I did get lots of pictures (BOY AM I FAT!!!!) of my last chemo treatment and I will get them posted on my blog in a week or longer (probably longer) because I have no idea how this is all going to go.

GOOD NEWS....I start on my daily estrogen/chemo drug that I have to take for 5 YEARS, on November 1st....lets hope my body can take that one.....or lets not borrow any trouble...LOL

ALL MY LOVE....Amy

(PS....Carole from http://scoundrelsandrogues.blogspot.com/ called me today, OH MY FRIENDS, she is still in the hospital and will be until at least next week. They had to take out 3 inches of her spine, her surgery lasted WAY WAY longer than they thought, over 7 and 1/2 hours and her spine they said was like angel hair pasta, just a mess. She won't be able to walk for at least 1 to 2 years and she is in a lot of pain. They tried to get her up to walk and she could only take one step before the pain was so bad that the doctors told the nurses to LEAVE HER IN BED!!!! We are all pulling and praying for you Carole, just get better and we can't wait to see you posting again)

~LAST CHEMO TODAY~

~LAST CHEMO TODAY~WOW....it's finally here and I actually slept last night. Every chemo night before, I could never sleep. I think this time I was able to sleep because I see the finish line, I see the ribbon stretched across the road for me to break through.

Stay tuned for pictures of my chemo process and all those wonderful people who helped me at Dr. Ghosh's office at the Iowa Blood and Cancer Center. I don't know how they do it day after day.

Thank you Becky, from Sweet Cottage Dreams for the adorable stamp you made for me above and for letting me borrow the Tim Mcgraw song playing right now. What a fitting song for me!!! If you get a chance, check out her blog. She is one talented gal, and her house is AWESOME!!!

SEE YOU ALL ON THE FLIP SIDE.......
BIG HUGS and LOVE, Amy

~24 HOURS and COUNTING~

~24 HOURS and COUNTING~
In 24 hours from now I will be heading for my last chemo treatment. Well, the ones where I have to go in and get them thru the veins. After this is all done, I have to go on a DAILY CHEMO DRUG for the next 5 YEARS....I am not to happy about it and I'm not really thrilled reading about all the side effects...but we will see. Dr. Ghosh says it's quality of life that we are most concerned about and if the daily chemo drug is making my life icky...then we will have to find something else. SO, LET'S NOT BORROW TROUBLE......and just think of the good stuff....TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY!!!
YIPPY SKIPPY!!!
~Amy~

~LESS THAN 48 HOURS LEFT~

~MY SMILING FACE~

YIPPY SKIPPY....The flu bug FLEW away!!!! And I am less than 48 HOURS into my LAST CHEMO TREATMENT....I can't tell you how excited I am .....almost like having a baby. REALLY!!! Just think, the worst part will be over soon and I can begin my life again....Only with a RENEWED SENSE of LIFE....just like when you have a baby. This Cancer sure has changed me, in ways I am sure haven't all shown themselves and I look forward to seeing what awaits me in the months and years ahead.

Don't think just because my last treatment is Wednesday that I am done....I still have reconstructive surgery for the next 6 months or so and I will keep you up to date on that.

Well, I best get back to shipping orders....LOVE AND HUGS TO ALL OF YOU.....I am WAY WAY WAY OVERLY EXCITED!!!!
Amy

~The Flu~

It started early Friday evening....I have been hit with the stomach flu!!!
I was feeling pretty good last night (Saturday evening) but then it has hit me again today.

Back to bed for me.....I feel like singing that song Rain Rain Go Away only replace it with

Flu

Flu

Go Away

Come again another day

Amy wants to run and play

This has really put a damper on my shipping...please pray I feel better by tomorrow so I can get my work done.

LAST CHEMO in 3 days......It can't come fast enough for me...

Have a great rest of this Sunday, and please say a prayer so I can feel better.

Hugs, Amy

~AND THE WINNER IS........~

AND THE WINNER IS........

GAYLA from OATMEAL & WHIMSY

Thank you everyone for entering and GAYLA....Please email me with your home address.

Have a Happy Friday...

It's MY BOB'S BIRTHDAY TODAY......HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!! I LOVE YOU TO PIECES.....Love, Amy

~FREE VINTAGE LOOT~TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS~

~FUN VINTAGE LOOT GIVEAWAY~ OH MY GOODNESS!!! LET'S HAVE SOME FUN!!!

It's been a heck of a day for me today, I have a migraine that won't stop so as soon as I post this, it's lights out for me!!! Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully my migraine will be gone!!!

ONE PERSON WILL WIN ALL THAT YOU SEE IN THE ABOVE PICTURE, just leave a comment on this post and I will draw a winner on Friday afternoon. (Hopefully I will be done with the website then too)

HERE IS WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET....ALL FOR FREE!!!!

(1) Vintage Old/New Stock SCRAP BOOK in the best off white and gold

(5) Pieces of late 1800's Full Size Sheet Music (will be available on the website by this weekend)

(1) Darling Hand Made Crocheted Child-Size Purse FILLED with Vintage Buttons

(1) Vintage OLD/NEW STOCK Beach's "Common Sense" Travelers Expense Book (will be available on the website by this weekend)

(1) GORGEOUS 20" by 20" Vintage SOFT PINK Wallpaper piece (will be available on the website by this weekend)

(2) Vintage Reproduction SANTA CLAUSE Die-Cut Paper Ornaments

(1) Huge Reproduction of Vintage GARLAND of PINK SNOW GIRLS

(1) Three Feet of the Most Adorable Vintage PINK POLKA-DOT SCALLOPED RIBBON (this stuff is SOOOO PRETTY and DETAILED and will be available on the website by this weekend)

HAVE FUN.....And Have a great rest of tonight.....LOVE and HUGS.......Amy

~FREE GIVEAWAY~ LET'S MAKE THIS A HAPPY MONDAY

FREE GIVEAWAY Details coming tonight....I NEED TO MAKE THIS A HAPPY MONDAY!!! Too much sadness this morning.....
Let me get some fun stuff together and get the pictures on after supper.

SEE YOU LATER TONIGHT!!! THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN!!! ~Amy~

~More Doctors Today~

HI HO....HI HO...It's off to the Doctor's I go......

Today I go to the doctors again (oncologist Dr. Ghosh) to have more blood work done and to see if I will need to have the RED Blood Cell shot again. The WHITE Blood Cell shot I get the day after chemo is $6000.00 PER SHOT....YES SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR ONE SHOT. The red blood cell one I get today, is ONLY....LOL...$5000.00 per shot.
Did I tell you that each chemo treatment with my shots is a little over $21,000.00 EACH TIME!!!
HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT WITHOUT INSURANCE??? And how do people do it that have no so good insurance???
JUST FOR MY CHEMO ALONE (not including the hospital stays, the surgeries, and all the medicines I have been on)it will cost over $125,000.00. IS THAT INSANE???
SO, off to the doctors I go again today.....but soon it will ALL BE OVER....AND I CANNOT WAIT TO STOP LOOKING LIKE UNCLE FESTER!!!!
HAPPY HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE....Amy

~OVERWHELMING APPRECIATION~

HOW EVER DO I THANK ONE FOR THEIR OVERWHELMING LOVE????

I don't think you can....and being a person that is usually not on the receiving end of such love, support and heartfelt good wishes, it has all been JOYFULLY OVERWHELMING. All I can say is THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! I started to read the blogs and just sat there and cried. A GOOD CRY, it's all GOOD!!! THEN IT HIT ME, HOW BLESSED I TRULY AM, HOW LUCKY I AM TO HAVE ALL OF YOU and to find out WHO MY TRUE BLUE FRIENDS REALLY ARE when the (excuse my language) shit HIT THE FAN!!!! I have to come to terms with the fact that there is NO WAY I can ever repay you, and that is hard for me to do. I'm just not used to all of this. BUT I AM NOT COMPLAINING.....NOT IN THE LEAST!!!!

As Tony Snow said in his Cancer Interview with Robin Roberts of Good Morning America, "Love those who love you, let the other ones go, and learn to accept the love, prayers and giving nature of those who want to help, those who, even though they can't take your cancer away, they want to help in anyway they can. Accept that from them, and understand, even though you know there is no way you can repay them for all they have done, just accept it, because they love you." WOW!!! IS THAT GREAT OR WHAT????

Thank YOU so much Joy from TheJoyOf for thinking up this idea!!!! I AM TRULY BLESSED!!!! Click on any of the links below to read all about it and if there is anyone I might have left out, PLEASE EMAIL ME and let me know, remember, I still have the "Chemo Brain".

Mary-AcrossThePond
Joyce-BrooksideCottage
Betty-SheSewPretty
Carole-ScoundrelsAndRouges
Shannon-PaintMinePink
Jackie-InspireMePlease
Becca-BlueBirdsAndRoses
Gayla-OatmealAndWhimsy
MaryLou~MarylousThoughts
Joy-TheJoyOf
Lori-KatiesRoseCottage
Polly-CountYourBlessings
Mary-MyMothersDaughter
Becky-SweetCottageDreams
Mgm-MyGalMad
Lori-PinkFadedRoses
Priscilla-SweetRemembrance
Genevieve-BellaEnchanted
Louise-BeachyCapeCodCupboard
Vicki-PinkPearlGirl
Pat-TheUrbanChic
Angie-SlipCoverDiva
Susie & Angie-AngiesPinkRoseCottage
Mary-Crash-N-Smash
Karla-KarlasCottage

(PS....Yesterday I had a HORRIBLE MIGRAINE and TERRIBLE FEMUR BONE PAIN, I ended up taking 3 pain pills in less than 2 hours and I was OUT for the rest of the day and evening. I think it was from being out too long but it was all WORTH IT....I will get thru all of your posts and comments so please don't think I fell off the face of the earth, I am here, and was just out of commission for the last day. Funny thing, just when I think I am doing great, I am reminded that "HEY AMY, YOU HAD CANCER, YOU ARE STILL HEALING and BEING POISONED BY CHEMOTHERAPY".......BA HUM BUG!!!!)

I TRULY DEEPLY LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

HAPPY SATURDAY, Amy

~CELEBRATE AMY DAY???~

WOW!!! WHAT A TOTAL SURPRISE!!!!

Today is CELEBRATE MY LIFE DAY in BLOGLAND...thank you JOY for surprising me....HOW COOL IS THAT!!!

How WONDERFUL to be LOVED BY ALL OF YOU!!!!

I am truly humbled and in AWE.....YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME....I AM TRULY BLESSED....All My Love, Amy

BellaMary-Isabellascloset

Mary-AcrossThePond
Joyce-BrooksideCottage
Betty-SheSewPretty
Carole-ScoundrelsAndRouges
Shannon-PaintMinePink
Jackie-InspireMePlease
Becca-BlueBirdsAndRoses
Gayla-OatmealAndWhimsy
MaryLou~MarylousThoughts
Joy-TheJoyOf
Lori-KatiesRoseCottage

~Just a Quick Note~

Just a quick note to let you know I am feeling better and even tho its hard to walk because of the pain in my hips and femur bones and my mouth sores are killing me, I am keeping a positive attitude.

I am excited today because Bob is going to take me to a few sales this morning. I am just excited to get out and be around vintage junk!!!! LOL

I had a friend say to me once, I could go junkin' all day long and even if I threw it all out the car window on the way home, it would still be a GREAT DAY!!!! That is EXACTLY how I feel today!!!

Also, I am getting a Massage this afternoon, it will be my 2nd one ever and my dear friend Becky paid it forward to me. How cool is that??? The girl is incredible and I am so happy to be able to go. What a gal, as Becky too, has been where I am and it's really neat to be able to talk to someone who understands the dark crappy side of cancer.

Okay, so, I best get Maddi on the bus and Oh, hey, this week has been pretty encouraging for me as I was able to list 3 things on eBay and TOTALLY REVAMP my WEBSITE.....It's all ready for pictures and new stuff and I am hoping this weekend I have the strength to list all new treasures on the site. THAT IS MY CREATING....THAT IS what I look forward to and keeps my mind sharp. IT MAKES ME HAPPY!!!
Love and Hugs to all of you and also, I will post all those AWESOME HATS for AMY for all of you to see.

HAPPY HAPPY THURSDAY, Amy

~Hanging in there~

~Hanging in there~

~I made it thru Chemo # 5 with a few blown veins and some nice left over bruises and I am already wiped out, Maddi was home sick yesterday with a head cold and slight fever, but by the end of the evening she was doing better, that's a good thing!!!~

I think I am more happy to know that I just have ONE LEFT and then I am done. I did have a bit of a meltdown before going into chemo as my oncologist said I might want to go to The University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics to talk to the top breast cancer radiologist there to see about having radiation.
We had lots of stuff to think over along with medical documentation that Bob sifted through (Medical lingo I don't understand) and I am not going to do it....so, no appointment to Iowa City next week and I actually have a higher percentage of having heart failure or getting Leukemia from the chemotherapy than I have getting the breast cancer back from not taking radiation. SO, that has put my mind at ease!!!! And I can honestly say, mentally and physically I could not bear the thought of having to drive down to Iowa City every day for 6 weeks to get radiation treatments. I JUST CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE....I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!

So, the picture you see above is not so glamorous....It was taken the day before Chemo # 5....It's AMAZING what Cancer does to a person, not only in the physical outward look of a person, but to a spirit, to a personality, to the outlook on life as a whole. I'm not quite sure what I'm suppose to be doing with my life, I think I have something I am suppose to do with going thru this cancer, but I haven't figured it out yet. I know this for sure....It sure has made me less quick to judge, less quick to complain or criticise, and made me love and respect people more than I ever would have....It has given me an appreciation and love for people I didn't even know and those that I do know. It has been an AMAZING JOURNEY and most of all, I have seen THERE REALLY ARE WONDERFUL GOOD PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WE LIVE IN!!!
KEEP SMILING....LIFE IS GOOD....

BETTER TO HAVE GOOD DAYS, THAN NO DAYS

~Amy~

~Leaving for CHEMO # 5, Not CHANEL No. 5~

CHEMO # 5 will be starting in about an hour.....Just wanted to let everyone know that I am FEELING GREAT and I am DONE swimming in my pity pool, where I have been for the last 3 weeks or so.....I'm ON THE DOWN HILL SLIDE and I ask that you pray for some veins to work as most of them have collapsed or blown from the last 4 chemos....YUCK....but enough about that....

I hope to post tonight and also give a recent picture of me as I haven't had one for awhile....I have almost lost all my eyebrows and eye lashes.....goes with the bald head.....and hey, I still don't have to shave.....YIPPY!!!

Also, I was so excited to list ONE THING ON EBAY last night.....10 pages of that awesome 1930's Miniature Sheet Symphony Music. Click here to check it out if you get a chance and it's FREE SHIPPING TOO!!! It only took me 55 minutes to list it...LOL...as my brains wouldn't remember how to list on eBay....I thought that was FUNNY!!! THIS TOO SHALL PASS

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE for all your thoughts, prayers, cards and gifts....YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Hugs, Amy

~Please Forgive Me~

~PRETTY FALL FLOWERS....THANK YOU BECKY from COE COLLEGE~

~Please forgive me for not posting the past week....I really hit rock bottom and I have been nothing but a puddle of tears~

I'm trying everything I can to get over this hump and this whole cancer/chemo thing has finally taken it's toll on me.

Not only is my body hurting, all the way to the bone but emotionally I can't bear the thought of 2 more treatments. Even though I only have 2 more to go, I have been informed that IT'S GOING TO TAKE YEARS to get my full strength back and feel myself again. THAT IS A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW for someone like me who is used to doing anything she puts her mind to.

The chemo is POISONING MY BODY and most days I am so tired and weak I just want to go to bed and not wake up for a year. The nausea is getting worst, my entire jaw and teeth hurt so bad that I can no longer "chew" anything. Can you believe it, I DRINK WARM JELLO because it feels good in my mouth and it doesn't hurt, same with cooked noodles...LOL...Yummy combo huh???? My sternum, hips and femur bones in my legs feel like someone hit them with baseball bats. Sometimes when I walk, my hip gives out where it's connected to my legs and I stumble, not to mention I give out a YELL because it hurts so bad. (and all I can do for that is take Tylenol with Codeine, like I want to be drugged up all the time, I'm already tired as it is)

THEN THERE IS THE WEIGHT GAIN....HOLY COW BATMAN....Just imagine taking steroids (like I am) and not working out....zippo zero exercise (I am to weak and tired to even think about exercise) I am retaining water so much that I can no longer see the bones in my feet....and it's gross. Now, most of you would probably never share this but since this is my journey thru all of this, I am going to share. I have gained 43 pounds....YEP....THAT'S A SMALL CHILD...and I don't think gaining that weight has helped my demeanor either. I have gone up 5 jean sizes. That alone is DEPRESSING!!!

So, I have been out of sorts the last week and I am sorry I haven't kept in touch, I just couldn't even look at the computer, let alone blog. But with encouraging words from you....I am going to COWBOY UP and get going again.

I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!! I REALLY REALLY DO....I don't know what I would do without YOU!!!!
Love, Amy