~READ AT YOUR OWN RISK......I AM VENTING!!!!~
~Yes, as Louie sings, "It's A Wonderful World.....I still think so, deep in my heart...but NOT RIGHT NOW~
It started early last night....I am Sick to my stomach, low grade temperature, my bones feel like I am getting the flu, nauseated, cold sweats, shakes, mouth sores going down my throat, diarrhea and now constipation. Not to mention my sternum is about to explode and I have a migraine the size of Texas!!!! NEED I SAY MORE????
Just got back from an Emergency visit from my Oncologist, my white blood cell count is taking another dive....down to 3.0 already, I am dehydrated and need anti-biotics. They wanted to keep me there but I said, NO, we have kids that need to be places and stuff that needs to be done. (it sucks that Mom is gone to Minnesota, my other help is out of town and right now all we have to run the kids is Bob, big kids are at work and ex's won't help either<---Don't even go there with me on this one!!!)
....YES I AM VENTING as I don't feel good and I am tired of all this crap....You know, when you don't feel good, things just seem to be magnified and worst than they really are...I just wish for one day, someone could trade places with me and see how many times I have SMACKED A FRICKIN' SMILEY FACE on myself and said, "I'm okay, let's keep going". I am so sick and tired of feeling like crap more days than not and trying to push how MAD AS HELL I REALLY AM about this whole cancer thing back into some deep dark buried box I think is buried in the backyard, that I WANT TO SPIT, SCREAM or PUNCH SOMEONE!!!
THERE, I said it, No Grace here.....just right out said it.....I think it sucks too that IN LESS THAN A YEAR, I have had to deal with cancer, with both My Dad and now ME.....IT'S A BUNCH OF CRAP and I am P.O'ed!!!
SOOOOO.....they agreed to let me come home, DRINK TONS OF WATER, take the anti-biotics here at home and go to bed. I have the next 12 hours to get myself better or I am going to end up in the hospital.
And, well, I am JUST MAD AS HELL RIGHT NOW!!!
Hotter than a Hornet~Amy