~CHRISTMAS at MOM'S HOUSE~

~CHRISTMAS at MOM'S HOUSE~

Have fun looking thru the photos and sorry they are kind of out of order. I am working hard on the website today so I can have all new treasures on late Sunday Evening.

Have a great day today, Love and Hugs, Amy

~Crazy Couple Days~

~IT'S BEEN A CRAZY COUPLE OF DAYS~

Well, my Microsoft Frontpage decided to die on me yesterday. That is the program I use for my website and host my e-bay auctions. The good news is, I got it working after 5 and a half hours of working on it today and I don't have to get a new computer or program. WHEW!!! I am soooo happy about that.

I will be getting ready for the Thanksgiving Holiday starting tomorrow and Wednesday, by cleaning the house (Mom's coming over to help) and I still need to shop for dinner. We have the turkey but need to get everything else.

~DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT TODAY~

I had my pre-op physical today and will find out about my blood work tomorrow. It took them 20 minutes to find a good vein because all of mine are collapsed from chemotherapy. They blew out one of my veins today, it hurts like hell, and finally found one to get some blood. I sure am glad that is over with!!! Just think 2 WEEKS from TONIGHT I will be all done with my 2nd phase of reconstructive breast surgery. They will be taking out the expander's and replacing them with saline implants and then building nipples. I have to wear nipple tents (THAT MAKES ME LAUGH EVERY TIME I SAY IT) for 3 weeks as not to tear or catch them on my clothing. The last phase of the reconstruction won't happen until LATE SPRING 2008. So, they weren't kidding when they said the whole process takes about a year.

~CHRISTMAS at THE HENRY'S~

The girls decorated the whole house for CHRISTMAS since I want to have that all done and all the presents bought before surgery. Then I can just relax until Christmas!!! I will get a picture of the tree, I just forgot to and will share that after Thanksgiving.

~FEELING BETTER and STRONGER EVERYDAY~

I feel better and stronger everyday and below are just a few photos of what will be coming to the website the weekend of Thanksgiving. YIPPY SKIPPY!!! GAME ON, as the girls would say. If you are interested in having me e-mail you as soon as everything is ready, please e-mail me so I can add you to our list.

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING and I am so THANKFUL for all of you, my family, friends and all of Our Troops!!! I will back to blogging after Thanksgiving.

GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!!!
Hugs, Amy

~Reconstruction Photos~

~BREAST CANCER RECONSTRUCTION PICTURES~

The pictures were taken last week on November 9th, 2007. (CLICK HERE TO SEE THEM and PLEASE REMEMBER to view them at your OWN RISK. THESE ARE ACTUAL PHOTOS) I forgot to take pictures of the fill I had in September but these photos are the latest and I am happy with the size. I have 540cc in each breast and they look so perfect that the doctor and I both agreed not to go any bigger as to mess up the evenness of them. He is VERY HAPPY (he even called in all the nurses to show them how AWESOME it has healed and looks and so am I.
On December 3rd I will have my 2nd phase of reconstructive surgery in which he will take out the expander's and replace them with saline solution implants. He will then shape them as needed and begin making nipples. This whole process will take about 2 and a half hours and I should be able to go home that evening. I have to have this done in the hospital because of all my complications with chemotherapy and he doesn't want to take any chances. (Even though he has his own operating area in his office) The coloring of the nipples will not happen until Spring of 2008. So this whole process takes almost a year. WOW!!! I think they look FABULOUS...WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN!!! AND THIS IS ONE SIDE EFFECT of CANCER I CAN HANDLE!!!
Love and Hugs to all of you,
Amy
(who's dreaming of a White Christmas)

~Love One Another and More Cancer Side Effects~

~LOVE ONE ANOTHER~

I know this is one of the best things to do, yet I am soul searching and reading in my Bible how to be better at this. (any good scripture you know of, please email to me, I so love those positive words!!!)

So, when does it come to a time where one is tired of being the doormat for others (see previous post) and it's REALLY REALLY HARD to love that other person??? I feel guilty for not following those words of "Love One Another" and it lays heavy on my heart. Such a struggle with this for me right now and you would think after all I have been through this would be something that would come so EASILY!!! It's so frustrating at times.

I found out that since I couldn't keep the kids for 5 days during Thanksgiving break so she could go out of state with the flavor of the month that she said, "She using the Cancer Card as an excuse not to take the kids." OUCH....THAT REALLY HURT because she has no idea how tired I get and how I am still trying to heal from all of this. What is really amazing is that she is a nurse at a hospital and I hope to God I never have her as my nurse. One would think there would be some compassion and love there....but I guess not.

I have to keep reminding myself, "GOD HASN'T FAILED ME YET and HE'S NOT GOING TO START NOW!!!"

ENOUGH OF THAT.....

Yesterday I had to go to the dentist and have ONE of MANY teeth pulled. Chemo has taken it's toll on them and the dentist decided to just pull one to see how well my body healed after taking it out. Since my blood cell count is still low, we need to see how I do. Also, he didn't want to pull them all because I need to be well for my 2nd phase of reconstructive surgery on the 3rd of December. So far, so good, it's very sore and I am taking penicillin for any infection that might come up but I am happy it is out of there and that tooth ache feeling is GONE!!!

It's getting cold here and the wind is blowing like crazy....the radio station has started playing 24/7 Christmas Music and it's a welcomed sound.

Have a great day today and I will try my hardest to keep my glass 1/2 FULL and Love One Another......Hugs, Amy

~SIDE EFFECTS of CANCER~

WARNING....THIS IS A BAD BAD NASTY POST....READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! HERE IS THE NASTY SIDE OF ME!!!!

SIDE EFFECTS NOT IN ANY SORT OF ORDER of IMPORTANCE

SIDE EFFECT #1

SIDE EFFECTS have hit me with the Tamoxifen and it hasn't been pretty.
I have had headaches, nausea, vomiting, dizziness (to the point I can hardly walk because I run into stuff) hot flashes every 20 minutes or so, soaking through my shirts like I am in a wet t-shirt contest....HA HA HA....never been in one but thought that might be what it is like, and it just SUCKS!!!!

SIDE EFFECT #2

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and even tho I was able to make it to my appointment with the plastic surgeon, I am not looking forward to surgery on the 3rd of December. I am weak and I am kind of depressed as my mind wants to do things and get back to working, but my body won't let me.

SIDE EFFECT #3

To be honest, I have unplugged the house phone from bill collectors calling.....YEP...HAVING CANCER CAN FINANCIALLY HURT EVEN when you have GREAT INSURANCE....and I just want to run away!!! I want to get back to the website and eBay so bad but my body won't let me. SO, Mr. Bill Collector, I have unplugged my phone and won't be plugging it back in until I can get back on my feet.

SIDE EFFECT #4

Sleeping habits are not there.....I feel like a cat with the cat naps and the insomnia. I think I can't sleep because I worry too much about the bills and I dream that I die in my sleep, I dream that we lose everything we have worked so hard for and so I don't want to go to sleep.

SIDE EFFECT #5

Ex-spouses from both my side and my hubby's side. Yelling, Screaming, feeling they are the VICTIM of THEIR LIFE'S troubles and it's all OUR FAULT!!! Feeling that in someway, I am responsible for their failures. GET A GRIP YOU TWO!!! START TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for YOURSELF and YOUR CHOICES!!! I DID NOT CHOOSE TO GET CANCER, I DID NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT AT ALL.

LIFE DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOUR PITIFUL SELF'S. And hey, just because YOU CHOSE to do the things you do shouldn't make it so we and YOUR CHILDREN suffer for your choices. I'm not the one who chose to quit or stay in my job, I am not the one who is behind on child support by THOUSANDS of DOLLARS and I am not the one who is making your life miserable. GROW UP AND BECOME A PARENT to your kids and BE RESPONSIBLE for them too!!! GET A DIFFERENT JOB, or keep the one you have, STOP DATING EVERYTHING THAT WALKS YOUR WAY (or through your computer screen), stop going out of town or state to be with that "flavor of the month" and PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CHILDREN. YOU NEED to FIX YOURSELF before you will be happy with anyone....Remember, to love yourself so others can love you too!!! (For example, today, as I am trying to get my immunities up for my surgery and dealing with getting better from this cancer, I sit here with your daughter who is throwing up and wondering WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU??? THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER!!!)
I wish for just ONE MONTH you could be in my shoes, dealing with cancer and see how good it feels to take care of the kids in that condition. GET OUT OF YOUR PITY POOL and DEAL WITH YOUR BAD SELF!!!

Side Effect #6

Well, hmmmm...I know there are more...but for today, this is enough.....

It could be worst, I know, and I will keep trying to find the glass half full but today it just didn't happen. I really am a good person, there is just so much ONE PERSON CAN TAKE. Please GOD...DON'T STRIKE ME DOWN.....

~WIPED OUT FROM IT ALL, Amy~

~Last Chemo Treatment Pictures~

~HERE IS EVERYONE WHO HELPED ME FIGHT MY CANCER AT DR. GHOSH'S IOWA BLOOD AND CANCER CARE~

Above is Holly, the one who did all my blood work

Above is Sarah the receptionist who checked me in and Becca who took my vitals

My Good Buddies Lanette, My ON CALL ONCOLOGY NURSE who will be there for me for as long as I need her and Mindy, Dr. Ghosh's Nurse Practitioner

~Above THE FAMOUS DR. GHOSH....WHO SAVED MY LIFE~

Lesta and Natalie, My Chemo Girls who hooked me up every time. WHAT A FUN BUNCH THEY ARE!!! I can't believe I am saying this but I am going to MISS THEM!!!

~THE BELL YOU GET TO RING WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED WITH CHEMO~

~AFTER RINGING THE BELL with BOB....CHEMO IS OVER!!!!~

I AM HUGE!!! Those Macy Day Thanksgiving Parade STEROIDS they gave me and the anti-nausea medication so I wouldn't throw up made me LOOK LIKE A MACY'S DAY PARADE BALLOON...I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT AT ALL!!!

Okay.....NOW WHAT???? Right now I am really at a loss....I have been so focused on fighting breast cancer and now that I am done with chemo I thought I could just go back to my old life....I am finding that is not the case. I am finding I am feeling better everyday but I tire out around noon and still need to sleep. I am finding I am a bit depressed and don't know why....THIS IS REALLY STARTING TO SUCK....

STILL HANGING IN THERE.....Amy

(PS...Becky, I wore my scarf to chemo but got a hot flash and soaked thru it so I had to switch scarves. Please forgive me as I so wanted to get a picture of me in it)

~I'm Here~

Just a quick update to let you know I am still here.....I am sleeping like crazy and my mouth is still giving me so much pain that I am on a constant dose of Tylenol with codeine. I pretty much sleep and do as little as possible to get by for the day. This chemo really threw me for a loop. With each day I get a bit stronger but I am not as good as I want to be. THE BEST THING IS: My MIND IS SHARP and wants to get all this stuff done but my body is saying NO WAY!!! So, such is life and I will just take one day at a time, even tho I am very frustrated that I am not getting better faster. Just my personality!!!

Thank you sooooo much for all your prayers and continued support. I am sure I will feel better in no time. PS...The picture above is from last year Christmas....my Shabby Vintage Trinket Jars with GLITTER!!!

Hugs and Love, Amy