~SIDE EFFECTS of CANCER~

WARNING....THIS IS A BAD BAD NASTY POST....READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! HERE IS THE NASTY SIDE OF ME!!!!

SIDE EFFECTS NOT IN ANY SORT OF ORDER of IMPORTANCE

SIDE EFFECT #1

SIDE EFFECTS have hit me with the Tamoxifen and it hasn't been pretty.
I have had headaches, nausea, vomiting, dizziness (to the point I can hardly walk because I run into stuff) hot flashes every 20 minutes or so, soaking through my shirts like I am in a wet t-shirt contest....HA HA HA....never been in one but thought that might be what it is like, and it just SUCKS!!!!

SIDE EFFECT #2

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and even tho I was able to make it to my appointment with the plastic surgeon, I am not looking forward to surgery on the 3rd of December. I am weak and I am kind of depressed as my mind wants to do things and get back to working, but my body won't let me.

SIDE EFFECT #3

To be honest, I have unplugged the house phone from bill collectors calling.....YEP...HAVING CANCER CAN FINANCIALLY HURT EVEN when you have GREAT INSURANCE....and I just want to run away!!! I want to get back to the website and eBay so bad but my body won't let me. SO, Mr. Bill Collector, I have unplugged my phone and won't be plugging it back in until I can get back on my feet.

SIDE EFFECT #4

Sleeping habits are not there.....I feel like a cat with the cat naps and the insomnia. I think I can't sleep because I worry too much about the bills and I dream that I die in my sleep, I dream that we lose everything we have worked so hard for and so I don't want to go to sleep.

SIDE EFFECT #5

Ex-spouses from both my side and my hubby's side. Yelling, Screaming, feeling they are the VICTIM of THEIR LIFE'S troubles and it's all OUR FAULT!!! Feeling that in someway, I am responsible for their failures. GET A GRIP YOU TWO!!! START TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for YOURSELF and YOUR CHOICES!!! I DID NOT CHOOSE TO GET CANCER, I DID NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT AT ALL.

LIFE DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOUR PITIFUL SELF'S. And hey, just because YOU CHOSE to do the things you do shouldn't make it so we and YOUR CHILDREN suffer for your choices. I'm not the one who chose to quit or stay in my job, I am not the one who is behind on child support by THOUSANDS of DOLLARS and I am not the one who is making your life miserable. GROW UP AND BECOME A PARENT to your kids and BE RESPONSIBLE for them too!!! GET A DIFFERENT JOB, or keep the one you have, STOP DATING EVERYTHING THAT WALKS YOUR WAY (or through your computer screen), stop going out of town or state to be with that "flavor of the month" and PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CHILDREN. YOU NEED to FIX YOURSELF before you will be happy with anyone....Remember, to love yourself so others can love you too!!! (For example, today, as I am trying to get my immunities up for my surgery and dealing with getting better from this cancer, I sit here with your daughter who is throwing up and wondering WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU??? THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER!!!)
I wish for just ONE MONTH you could be in my shoes, dealing with cancer and see how good it feels to take care of the kids in that condition. GET OUT OF YOUR PITY POOL and DEAL WITH YOUR BAD SELF!!!

Side Effect #6

Well, hmmmm...I know there are more...but for today, this is enough.....

It could be worst, I know, and I will keep trying to find the glass half full but today it just didn't happen. I really am a good person, there is just so much ONE PERSON CAN TAKE. Please GOD...DON'T STRIKE ME DOWN.....

~WIPED OUT FROM IT ALL, Amy~