Tuesday, December 30, 2008

~My Breast Cancer Update~ Implants Being REMOVED~

~I am sick of being sick~ I don't even know where to start, I am sick once again, the stomach flu started Christmas Day early evening and am slowly getting better.
I have truly given my breast implants plenty of time to adjust and all of that. It has now been over one year since I had the actual implants put in and 18 months since I first had my bi-lateral mastectomy. OH SO MANY THINGS THEY DO NOT tell you when you have breast cancer and get implants.
My implants are after just 12 short months ALMOST COMPLETELY CAPSULED. No one ever told me about that side effect. On a scale of 1 to 4, 4 being the worst, my right breast, the one with the cancer, is at a scale 2, 2 and 1/2. My left breast, the breast that didn't have cancer is at a scale 3.
I cannot even begin to tell you how much I want these out. You know that kernel of popcorn that got stuck under your tooth and you can't get it out. THAT is how my implants feel, and it's getting worst everyday.
I can't even begin to tell you how PISSED OFF I AM that they didn't tell me that this could happen and that NO IMPLANT IS SAFE.....WHAT IN THE HELL ARE THEY DOING???? YOU ARE GOING THRU CANCER AND THEY ARE SO QUICK TO STICK A FOREIGN OBJECT IN YOUR BODY AND TELL YOU HOW GREAT IT IS GOING TO BE???? SALINE OR SILICONE, IT DOESN'T MATTER, I AM MAD AS HELL!!!!
10 days and counting......I will once again GO UNDER THE KNIFE......this time, at least 2 hours, to have my breasts cut in half, the implants taken out of the MUSCLE that has formed a capsule over the implants, then hopefully, he can STITCH the muscles back together and take off tons of skin (including the NIPPLES and TATTOOS that NEVER TOOK) and stitch me up.
I am seriously starting to think that maybe my IMPLANTS might be the reason for my continued pain in my back and leg, my madness and spurts of depression, my continued unhealthiness and seeming to NEVER GET BETTER. I also have constant pain in my entire chest, sternum and shoulders, which continue to get worst every single day. I have shooting pains in my hands and fingers that just started all within the past 6 weeks.
So PLEASE PLEASE, if you can find the time to say a little prayer for me. I AM SCARED TO DEATH to GO UNDER ONCE AGAIN. You know how I am about that, I am having horrible dreams that I die on the table. I am going to IOWA CITY, to Dr. Cram, one of America's TOP 100 Plastic Surgeons. January 9th is my surgery, in the morning, and I will keep you updated. I don't mind being flat-chested, I just WANT THESE IMPLANTS OUT....
HAPPY HEALTHY NEW YEAR TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!! God knows, I am ready for a healthy year!!!!
Love and Hugs, Amy