~I'm Very Weak...but I'm STILL SMILING~

Just a quick note to let everyone know that ALL of YOUR Thoughts and PRAYERS WORKED and I did not cry or melt down when I went into my first chemo treatment.

I slept thru most of it....can you believe that????

I am very very very very tired and have pretty much slept since getting home on Wednesday. BUT I'm STILL SMILING!!!

The above picture of me in that DARLING HAT is a GIFT from Betty over at SHE'S SO PRETTY that her daughter made for me. I think it is ADORABLE and my girls are already trying to snag it from me.....(I had to hid it from them....LOL) Oh, and I still have my hair BUT it FEELS GROSS, like a BIG HAYSTACK of CRUNCHY HAY!!!!

I have only been slightly nausea and have not thrown up at all....THAT IS A GOOD SIGN!!!
I did have to go into the doctor's yesterday to get a $6000.00 shot to decrease infection and try to avoid having to go into the hospital. I HAVE TO HAVE ONE EVERY CHEMO SESSION......$6000.00.....YES, that is $36,000.00 for just six shots. I WAS TOTALLY SHOCKED!!!

Well, my body is telling me to go back to bed...it's hard for me to concentrate as I do have a mild migraine but other than that....LIFE IS GOOD!!!! BLESS US EVERYONE!!!! I am humbled by ALL OF YOU....EVERYDAY.....Love, Amy

~Email from Amy about her Chemo~

Hello Gals! This is Mary from IsabellasCloset.
I just got in the door from work.
This email from Amy was waiting for me ..
Thought you would want to see it ASAP.

Mary, I did have a reaction to one of the medications and I have never seen doctors and nurses come running so fast in my life 3 doctors and 4 nurses WOW....BOB WAS EVEN IMPRESSED....they stopped my IV and started shooting all these shots into my IV to get me better....worked like a charm and I will just have to have it all the time now when I go in to chemo. I couldn't swallow...it was scary to me and I just couldn't swallow....I felt like I was choking. But they knew exactly what to do so that was great!!!!Starting tonight and over the next 3 days will be my nausea and vomiting stage.....and I got 4 of the RED Hair Cut Treatment Cocktail SHOTS so my hair will be gone in 2 days to 2 weeks......WOW...I never saw so much stuff shot into my veins in a day as I did today.
I am going to go to bed....I feel like I am getting the flu and the veins in my arms are cold.....almost like I can feel the chemo moving thru my blood stream...it's weird.....hard to explain....I am weak and very tired....
If you get a chance, can you post on my blog that I am doing great and the fear of the chemo is completely gone from me and every one's THOUGHTS and PRAYERS WORKED!!!! Please tell them THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU and I will blog as soon as I can.
(Mary, feel free to cut and paste anything I said out of this email to make it easier for you.....LOVE YOU!!!! Amy)

~My First Chemotherapy TODAY~

Well, It's 7:30am here in Iowa....I have been up for a while and only started to cry when my Baby Brother Jeff called me from his business trip in Chicago to wish me luck and let me know he will be praying for me and he will see my on Monday.

I actually woke up not afraid this morning because JILL spent the night with me last night. First time since High School that we had a "sleep over".....we had so much fun and didn't go to bed until midnight. THANK YOU JILL for being there for me!!!

I wanted to THANK EVERYONE for your prayers, your thoughts and your wonderful emails of encouragement. WHAT A GODSEND ALL OF YOU HAVE BEEN!!! I will go in to chemo today thinking of each and everyone of you holding my other hand and talking and praying with me....

I AM HUMBLED and EACH OF YOU have TOUCHED MY LIFE and MY HEART in ways you will ever know.....ALL MY LOVE, Amy

~I'm SCARED~

Well, today is 24 hours and counting before I start my first chemotherapy treatment. I am SCARED TO DEATH. Over the past week I have been having horrible dreams in my sleep that I go into cardiac arrest while I am sitting there getting my chemo treatment. I think it all started with the reason they needed to do the Muga Heart Test.

I don't know if I told you but I bawled like a baby when they took me into surgery for my double mastectomy. I was scared that I wouldn't wake up after they put me under. THAT IS ALWAYS my BIGGEST FEAR when I am put under. But I did wake up, yet I was still crying when I came out of surgery. Funny huh???

Today I have to start a huge dose of steriods, something to do with my veins and I just don't want to go into that chemo room tomorrow. I told Bob, I know I will cry when I have to sit down and start but he will be right there with me, holding my hand and talking me thru it. Thank you Bob, I really don't know what I would do without YOU!!!

I am sitting here crying while I try to write this because I am truly so scared. It really SUCKS that I have to go thru this....that ANYONE has to go thru this and I just don't want to be sick anymore. So far, I've kept a pretty good outlook about this but today feels like the beginning of the end. Hard to explain but I am having a MELTDOWN....I am HAVING A PITY PARTY....but I have to do this....if I don't, I only have a 40% chance of living.

On a good note, I have lots of friends coming over today and tonight and I am hoping to get some good pictures with them before my hair falls out over the next 2 weeks. I just want that memory as I don't think I will ever get my hair this long again. Even tho, losing my hair is the least of my worries, it has always been my "trademark". Everyone Loves My Hair.....Everyone always tells me, "Don't Ever Cut It"....even strangers tell me that and how beautiful it is. Not sure how I am going to handle it when it really does fall out.....so we will see.

If you have the time, please say a little prayer for me that I don't lose it when I get there tomorrow.....I AM SO SCARED and I wish I didn't have to go thru this!!!! ~Amy~

~NEW Photos~ My BANDAGES ARE GONE~

~MY BANDAGES ARE GONE.....YIPPY SKIPPY!!!~

OH I AM SOOOO EXCITED...ALL of my Post Op Bandages have fallen off. YIPPY SKIPPY!!!

THEY ARE GONE and I am AMAZED at how well the scar looks. If you want to see my PHOTO JOURNAL just click here BUT PLEASE BE WARNED...THESE ARE ACTUAL PHOTOS of my Breast Reconstruction

TOMORROW I GO IN for my FIRST fill...LOL...sounds like car maintenance. Normally they would fill each one with 60cc of saline solution but I am doing so well they are going to add 120cc in EACH BREAST....I AM SO EXCITED to see what happens to all this skin and see how things look after tomorrow.

Of course, I will take pictures of that too.

HAPPY SUNDAY!!! Make it worth your while....Love to you, Amy